May You Live To Be a Thousand Years Old

If, God forbid, I ever became paralyzed and could only communicate by blinking, it would probably be most effective to bypass the letter chart and start with a board with three things written on it.  The choices would be Tina Fey, Joe Vs. The Volcano, or “I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Blinking for “I don’t know what to tell you” would cover a multitude of situations, because it is the most useful phrase to use with people who request ridiculous things, speak gibberish, or tell me nonsense.

Blinking for Tina Fey will prompt the question “Mean Girls or 30 Rock?”  Blinking for either one will bring up a list of quotes which can then be used to get almost any point across.  There are few situations that cannot be handled with the phrase, “I can’t go to Taco Bell; I’m on an all-carb diet.”  It even works if you do want to go to Taco Bell.

Same deal with Joe Vs. The Volcano, and it would be most effective to start with the luggage scene. 

My mom is generally not at all critical as a grandparent.  She lets me make my own choices for my family without interfering, so it is always a little surprising, and amusing, when she casually tosses out zingers.  They are always food related.  “You made real macaroni and cheese instead of Kraft?  Kelly, don’t make your kids weird.”  That was one time! 

Recently she said, “At least I didn’t throw away your Easter candy.  I made cookies out of it.”  So this morning, Tate and I made cookies.

Selecting Joe Vs. The Volcano for this one:  I bribed them to [make us cookies] that would drive us insane and make our hearts swell and burst.  Chopped up Kit Kats in chocolate chip cookies is all chewy goodness. 

A Good Use of Everyone’s Time

The time when I get in the car to pick up Tate from school just happens to be the time when all the radio stations are playing commercials and public radio is broadcasting the end of a segment I like to call “Saying Things.”  I haven’t listened long enough to find out what it really is, but it’s not the news, an NPR interview with a male soprano, or a fascinating story about wolves.  Last Thursday it was about the new emoticons in the most recent iphone update.

I could use less development in emoticons and more energy focused on the following:  self cleaning bathrooms. 

The cabinets are waterproof, so take everything off the counters and floors, plus any hanging towels, put them in the cabinets and shut the doors.  The drains in the floor will be discreet, under the cabinet overhang.  There will be a sensor to ensure there are no pets or people in the bathroom, but it’s a good idea to double check anyway.  Shut the bathroom door, latch it, and press the “Clean” button on the keypad outside the door.  The bathroom will then act like a dishwasher and clean itself, including a heated dry.

It sounds like the simplest idea of 2015.  Please someone, take this and make it happen.

Truth, Justice, and Cake

I’m not sure at what point it was determined that every birthday party in our house had to have a theme.  Oh, we’re having fish tacos for Trent’s birthday?  BUT WHAT KIND OF BIRTHDAY IS HE HAVING?  For Rush and Tate, it’s not a birthday unless it’s officially licensed.  Or pirates maybe, but it better involve costumes.

Rush’s 6th birthday party was Superhero: Kindergarten Boys Only.  It was the calmest backyard full of kids that I’ve ever witnessed.  Is it actually the girls making every kids party total chaos?  Or the combination of girls and boys?  Or did the advanced age of six just chill everyone out?

The cake looked best from the top, where its wonkiness was better disguised. 

It was our first party with games, with Kryptonite hot potato and a secret identity relay. 

Tate opted out of all the games.  He gets that from me.

Two days before the party, I mentioned to Trent that it would be cool to make Mjolnir, Thor’s Hammer, out of concrete.  I expected Trent to veto the idea, because we would then have Mjolnir in our yard for the rest of our lives, but he made it the next day.  So now, we have Mjolnir in our yard for the rest of our lives, thus reminding us that we are in fact living the life we want to live.

Rush has a Spring Break birthday, so he also celebrated his actual birthday at the beach.  As he gets older we continue to see the classic Rush qualities that he has had from day 1.  He’s a joy and we’re ever grateful to have him as a part of our family.

Alleluia, Alleluia

Easter 2015 was –and continues be- a joyful celebration and as per the current standards, a total blur. 

Recently I’ve been thinking about how God is moving in the chaos that is our current situation.  Calming spirit?  Laughing and pronouncing it good?  Both and more, I think.  Right now I’m grateful for our church, where we can get dressed up and celebrate in a beautiful space filled with flowers and life and singing, where even if I can’t pay attention to one thing for ten seconds, I can at least look around and know SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS HAPPENING HERE.   

Holly and her friend had a glorious time playing in the aisle before the service, until we took Holly to the nursery during the opening hymn.  The two girls share a godfather, which makes them…?  Probably no actual relation, but they’re buddies and both enjoyed the Easter bouquets that their godfather gave them at church.

We had a celebratory Easter lunch with great friends who will sit around the kitchen table for coffee and dessert unfazed by the candy fueled anarchy raging around us.  We once ate Easter lunch on our wedding china in the dining room and we will again one day, but that day wasn’t this year.  It would have been nice to maintain those standards, but we all made it to church with two shoes on.  Priorities.

In the past four months we have full-force celebrated Christmas, Easter, and all our children’s birthdays.  It’s time for us to celebrate the joy of the Resurrection with our shoes off in the backyard.

And One Time We Went to the Rodeo