Dear Casey,
Thank you for cutting my hair.
However.
It turns out your so-called “layers” really just make me look like I stuck my ponytail into a crocodile’s mouth and let him gnaw the bottom off. The crocodile probably stared at you with an unblinking eye, gnawing away, while you sat behind me drinking a diet coke and doing nothing- similar to the time when I made the mistake of sitting in front of you in a canoe.
I should have remembered the Great Midnight Haircut of ‘08 in your Virginia apartment. I should not have accepted your confidence with a pair of scissors just because you get your hair cut every six weeks and “pay attention.” None of that matters, because at a point in the future we’ll be back here again with my hair all over the floor and your unremorseful “oops!”
So please keep practicing – but not on me.
Sisters and Best Friends Forever!
Kelly
Dear Kelly,
ReplyDeleteDear Kelly,
Everything I do, I do with confidence. Whether or not others realize my brilliance is not my problem. I am however insulted that you called my alligator a crocodile. It's the gulf coast. My pet alligator demands an apology and a second chance to gnaw on your hair.
Love,
Casey
PS: I repeatedly told you I only have experience cutting very short bobs. So... no refunds. I demand my damn Taco Bell.