Cheater

Back in the hazy light of January, I pledged to not buy myself anything for 2015.  So how’s that going? 

Uhhhhhhhhh…..…..ermmmmm……ehhhhhhhhhhh….….ahhhhhhhhhhh……..mhgmmmm………………

As it turns out, I sometimes cheat at personal challenges and can justify a lot of things.  Like when my sunglasses were scratched all across the eyeballs, I could have looked around and probably found a pair of sunglasses to wear, a pair of Trent’s or an extra pair at my parents’ beach house.  My dad is forever finding sunglasses on the beach.  That would be the appropriate response to the challenge, make do.  I just bought a new pair.

I have also purchased some summer clothes.  Before I purchased anything I did go through my whole closet, cleaned out things I don’t wear, and made a list of the things I actually needed and matched the spirit of my style icon, Betty Rizzo.  The list included details like Do Not Buy Any More Blue Shirts.  The first thing I purchased was a blue shirt.  Back in January, someone asked, “But what if you find something awesome at a thrift store [like a fabulous white and silver skirt for $3]?”  We know know the answer:  I will buy it.

Some parts are going a little better, no craft purchases so far.  I’m making progress on my sampler and have looked at the yards of spring fabric I bought last summer, just looked at it.  It’s a little hard to believe that I was able to sew so many dresses for Holly when she was a baby; where was all that free time?  How was I so motivated in the heat?

I have yet to buy myself a coke or coffee or whatever when I’m not with friends.  Except for recently, when I drove through McDonalds for lunch on the way to the park.  And today when I bought a diet coke and popcorn at Target.  That was a double cheat because yesterday I also made a list of three goals for the week and #2 was Stop Drinking Diet Coke Every Day.  I’m pretty sure it’s Tuesday.

The best part so far is the rarely eating out as a family bit.  It seems like fast food would be cheaper than a nice meal, but that is not the case.  On Saturdays we’ve purchased stuff for sandwiches, fancy cheese, and blueberries for lunch at the grocery store and it still totals less than we would have spent picking something up.  The prep/clean up time at home is a factor, but if you count waiting in a drive through line or the whole process of eating at a restaurant, it probably averages out.  The quality of our eating has gone up while the cost has gone down.

So it’s not going 100% great, but it’s going kind of great.  Some of the success has to be measured in what I haven’t purchased, like a DVD of Jurassic Park, a green gingham oxford shirt that I tried on today (I do kind of regret that), a scarf with nautical knots on it, any stationary, any throw pillows, and quite a few Diet Dr. B’s- a lot of Diet Dr. B’s.  It hasn’t been perfect, but I’ll keep trying.

Game Changers

There’s no office space in our house, not even a tucked-away-i-a-closet computer desk.  We have been in two other houses on our street that are our exact floor plan (the suburbs indeed), and the room that they use as a study/office is in our home a dining room.  Dining room currently means the room with a model train on my great-grandparents’ table.  The one desk in our house is in a bedroom with my sewing machine on it and drawers filled with notions.  Our laptop is most often found on the living room floor, pushed under the couch for protection.  The majority of our work takes place in the kitchen and the pile up on our countertops is the evidence.

My in-laws gave me a sugar mold for Christmas and for a few weeks it looked beautiful on the mantle with candles in it.  Then I realized it was the answer to all my problems:

A few weeks ago they gave Trent a magnetic strip for the garage, which he generously installed above the kitchen counter.

Sometimes something works, and when it works, it WORKS.  Today the Sharpies and scissors, tomorrow the world!

I Do Believe It

It is all happening at the zoo, at least for us.  We went twice last week:  Tate, Holly, and I on Friday and the whole family on Saturday.  It’s preseason, spring training, whatever you want to call it.   

We heard the zookeeper talking about the Baylor the elephant, pictured behind Tate.  I remember when he was born, back when I was pregnant with Tate.  According to the zookeeper, he now weighs about 4000 lbs and she described him as, “the smaller elephant in the yard.”

One of Tate’s favorite beach books (having nothing to do with the beach, but a beach book regardless) is A Porcupine Named Fluffy.  It features one of our favorite book lines: “Fluffy didn’t know what a rough time was, but he didn’t like the sound of it at all.”  The porcupine we saw at the zoo was surprisingly large.

Rush’s “Student of the Week” card, which we filled out for school back in September, asked for a goal he would like to meet in Kindergarten.  He wanted to slide down a fireman’s pole on the playground, which takes some courage for the initial jump.  He met that goal Saturday on the zoo playground, so there’s really nothing stopping him now.  On to the next challenge!

After years of saying no, maybe next time, we finally splurged on a carousel ride for the boys. 

Our next zoo trip is scheduled for next week.  I plan to make this membership pay for itself in the first month.

May You Live To Be a Thousand Years Old

If, God forbid, I ever became paralyzed and could only communicate by blinking, it would probably be most effective to bypass the letter chart and start with a board with three things written on it.  The choices would be Tina Fey, Joe Vs. The Volcano, or “I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Blinking for “I don’t know what to tell you” would cover a multitude of situations, because it is the most useful phrase to use with people who request ridiculous things, speak gibberish, or tell me nonsense.

Blinking for Tina Fey will prompt the question “Mean Girls or 30 Rock?”  Blinking for either one will bring up a list of quotes which can then be used to get almost any point across.  There are few situations that cannot be handled with the phrase, “I can’t go to Taco Bell; I’m on an all-carb diet.”  It even works if you do want to go to Taco Bell.

Same deal with Joe Vs. The Volcano, and it would be most effective to start with the luggage scene. 

My mom is generally not at all critical as a grandparent.  She lets me make my own choices for my family without interfering, so it is always a little surprising, and amusing, when she casually tosses out zingers.  They are always food related.  “You made real macaroni and cheese instead of Kraft?  Kelly, don’t make your kids weird.”  That was one time! 

Recently she said, “At least I didn’t throw away your Easter candy.  I made cookies out of it.”  So this morning, Tate and I made cookies.

Selecting Joe Vs. The Volcano for this one:  I bribed them to [make us cookies] that would drive us insane and make our hearts swell and burst.  Chopped up Kit Kats in chocolate chip cookies is all chewy goodness. 

A Good Use of Everyone’s Time

The time when I get in the car to pick up Tate from school just happens to be the time when all the radio stations are playing commercials and public radio is broadcasting the end of a segment I like to call “Saying Things.”  I haven’t listened long enough to find out what it really is, but it’s not the news, an NPR interview with a male soprano, or a fascinating story about wolves.  Last Thursday it was about the new emoticons in the most recent iphone update.

I could use less development in emoticons and more energy focused on the following:  self cleaning bathrooms. 

The cabinets are waterproof, so take everything off the counters and floors, plus any hanging towels, put them in the cabinets and shut the doors.  The drains in the floor will be discreet, under the cabinet overhang.  There will be a sensor to ensure there are no pets or people in the bathroom, but it’s a good idea to double check anyway.  Shut the bathroom door, latch it, and press the “Clean” button on the keypad outside the door.  The bathroom will then act like a dishwasher and clean itself, including a heated dry.

It sounds like the simplest idea of 2015.  Please someone, take this and make it happen.

Truth, Justice, and Cake

I’m not sure at what point it was determined that every birthday party in our house had to have a theme.  Oh, we’re having fish tacos for Trent’s birthday?  BUT WHAT KIND OF BIRTHDAY IS HE HAVING?  For Rush and Tate, it’s not a birthday unless it’s officially licensed.  Or pirates maybe, but it better involve costumes.

Rush’s 6th birthday party was Superhero: Kindergarten Boys Only.  It was the calmest backyard full of kids that I’ve ever witnessed.  Is it actually the girls making every kids party total chaos?  Or the combination of girls and boys?  Or did the advanced age of six just chill everyone out?

The cake looked best from the top, where its wonkiness was better disguised. 

It was our first party with games, with Kryptonite hot potato and a secret identity relay. 

Tate opted out of all the games.  He gets that from me.

Two days before the party, I mentioned to Trent that it would be cool to make Mjolnir, Thor’s Hammer, out of concrete.  I expected Trent to veto the idea, because we would then have Mjolnir in our yard for the rest of our lives, but he made it the next day.  So now, we have Mjolnir in our yard for the rest of our lives, thus reminding us that we are in fact living the life we want to live.

Rush has a Spring Break birthday, so he also celebrated his actual birthday at the beach.  As he gets older we continue to see the classic Rush qualities that he has had from day 1.  He’s a joy and we’re ever grateful to have him as a part of our family.

Alleluia, Alleluia

Easter 2015 was –and continues be- a joyful celebration and as per the current standards, a total blur. 

Recently I’ve been thinking about how God is moving in the chaos that is our current situation.  Calming spirit?  Laughing and pronouncing it good?  Both and more, I think.  Right now I’m grateful for our church, where we can get dressed up and celebrate in a beautiful space filled with flowers and life and singing, where even if I can’t pay attention to one thing for ten seconds, I can at least look around and know SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS HAPPENING HERE.   

Holly and her friend had a glorious time playing in the aisle before the service, until we took Holly to the nursery during the opening hymn.  The two girls share a godfather, which makes them…?  Probably no actual relation, but they’re buddies and both enjoyed the Easter bouquets that their godfather gave them at church.

We had a celebratory Easter lunch with great friends who will sit around the kitchen table for coffee and dessert unfazed by the candy fueled anarchy raging around us.  We once ate Easter lunch on our wedding china in the dining room and we will again one day, but that day wasn’t this year.  It would have been nice to maintain those standards, but we all made it to church with two shoes on.  Priorities.

In the past four months we have full-force celebrated Christmas, Easter, and all our children’s birthdays.  It’s time for us to celebrate the joy of the Resurrection with our shoes off in the backyard.

And One Time We Went to the Rodeo