May You Live To Be a Thousand Years Old

If, God forbid, I ever became paralyzed and could only communicate by blinking, it would probably be most effective to bypass the letter chart and start with a board with three things written on it.  The choices would be Tina Fey, Joe Vs. The Volcano, or “I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Blinking for “I don’t know what to tell you” would cover a multitude of situations, because it is the most useful phrase to use with people who request ridiculous things, speak gibberish, or tell me nonsense.

Blinking for Tina Fey will prompt the question “Mean Girls or 30 Rock?”  Blinking for either one will bring up a list of quotes which can then be used to get almost any point across.  There are few situations that cannot be handled with the phrase, “I can’t go to Taco Bell; I’m on an all-carb diet.”  It even works if you do want to go to Taco Bell.

Same deal with Joe Vs. The Volcano, and it would be most effective to start with the luggage scene. 

My mom is generally not at all critical as a grandparent.  She lets me make my own choices for my family without interfering, so it is always a little surprising, and amusing, when she casually tosses out zingers.  They are always food related.  “You made real macaroni and cheese instead of Kraft?  Kelly, don’t make your kids weird.”  That was one time! 

Recently she said, “At least I didn’t throw away your Easter candy.  I made cookies out of it.”  So this morning, Tate and I made cookies.

Selecting Joe Vs. The Volcano for this one:  I bribed them to [make us cookies] that would drive us insane and make our hearts swell and burst.  Chopped up Kit Kats in chocolate chip cookies is all chewy goodness.