A Quest For Fun

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows us that we have scratched our summer vacation plans and decided to go to Disney World.  We were planning a week in Destin, Florida via New Orleans, but as I crunched the numbers in my vacation spreadsheet, I realized that it would be less expensive to go to Disney World.  In fact, staying on the beach in Destin would wipe out our vacation budget in four days.  Now our plan is an epic road trip to New Orleans, Pensacola, and Walt Disney World.

People frequently ask for my advice on Disney trips, then completely ignore it.  But I’m going to offer it for anyone who might be considering a Disney vacation now or in the future, because it was shocking even to me that Disney was going to be less expensive than the beach.  My credentials include a summer as a Disney Cast Member in Fantasyland in the Magic Kingdom and the fact that in my 34 years on earth, I have never gone longer than 2 or 3 years in between Disney World trips.  I lost track of how many time I’ve been there before I started high school.  I trained in the Jim Rush school of vacationing:  If my family comes home from vacation well rested and refreshed, then I haven’t done my job.  If everyone is exhausted from a whirlwind of excitement and merriment, then we can count the trip a success.

There are two basic ways for a regular, non-millionaire to take a Disney World vacation:  The Once In a Lifetime Trip (even if it means 3 or 4 times over a lifetime) or the Every Summer If Possible Trip.  Most people, even if they have a budget in mind, ultimately want the VIP Once in a Lifetime Trip.  If you would like the all inclusive Disney experience, including shuttles so you don’t have to worry about driving and meal plans so you can eat in nice restaurants without seeing the bill, stay on property.  My advice is not going to be helpful, but you’ll be fine because Disney will take care of you.  If Disney seemed too expensive, it might not be, or if you would like to take a family to Disney World every two years, give or take, and not have to eat cereal for dinner the other 51 weeks of the year, here is my advice.  It’s the Clark Griswold trip, good old fashioned family fun.

Step One, Do the math.  Every year I work on an elaborate spreadsheet, comparing all our vacation options.  Compare driving vs flying/rental car or shuttle.  Factor in paying to park at Disney, but also consider that a shuttle limits your ability to eat outside the park and freedom of movement.  This is why Excel exists. 

Differentiate between fixed costs and variable costs.  Disney tickets are going to cost a fortune, and unless you happen to have a fabulous connection, there’s really no way around it.  I’m sure it’s possible to find discount tickets, but we buy them from Disney to know that they’re legitimate.  Variable costs include everything else.  Lodging, food, and souvenirs are all things that are easily adapted to fit the amount of money you want to spend on the trip. 

Don’t be afraid of a long road trip with kids.  It’s a glorious adventure. 

Be flexible with lodging.  When I was a kid, my parents would go temporarily insane around dusk after a day of driving, picking some dilapidated motel long past its heyday of 1964.  They would proclaim it quaint, then we would find a bed with bloody sheets or a wad of hair hanging from a lamp.  I used to lay in bed in the “quaint” motels where we stayed on vacation and promise myself that when I was an adult, I would only stay in nice hotels and never dumps like where I was sleeping.  It is the only thing I can remember from a happy childhood that had me making dramatic pledges to myself.  Forget the fact that my parents took us on vacation every single summer, including so many trips to Disney World that my brother would beg to go anywhere else.  I also wanted five star hotels.

Would I still like to stay in a five star resort?  Yes.  However, I did opt for being a stay-at-home mom instead of a heart surgeon and actions have consequences, one of which is not having unlimited cash flow.  Now I’m the one making the vacation budget with Trent looking over my shoulder at Trip Advisor and saying, “It doesn’t look very fancy.”  He’s been a princess about hotels ever since 2012 when I pulled into a motel in Slidell, Louisiana after dark and booked a room where we would literally shower, sleep, and stay less than twelve hours.  We pushed a chair in front of the door as an extra barrier of protection, just like we did when I was a kid, but at least it was clean.  Trent still brings up that motel like it was horrible.  The reality is that if you don’t actually fear for your life, it’s not that bad.

The good news is that there is so much competition among the zillion places to stay around Disney World, so you can pretty much name your price and you don’t have to stay at the Horne’s Mortor Lodge.  There are plenty of nice, clean places within a few miles of Disney World.  We stay off property, meaning not in a Disney resort but in a Holiday Inn,Comfort Suites or equivalent.  We usually stay on 192 in Kissimmee and can find decent hotels for $50/night.  We splurged this year on a suite with a kitchen, living area, and bedroom, and are still spending less than $100 a night.  I have done the math on staying on property vs staying off a million times.  Financially, you just can’t beat staying off property. 

No character meals, no sit down restaurants.  The cold, hard voice of reason:  You can see characters all over the parks for free.  Our dining experiences are strictly counter service affairs.  Taking hot, sweaty, tired kids into a restaurant and paying $30+ per person sounds horrible to me.  I mean, thousands and thousands of people do it, so maybe I’m missing out- but I really doubt it. 

That said, eat out when it matters to you.  Decide how much money you want to spend on food during the trip, and spend that much money.  Spend more on some meals, less on others.  Go to the grocery store and get breakfast stuff or find a hotel with a continental breakfast, bring sandwich stuff and snacks for the car.  You can bring food and drinks into the parks, but I don’t worry too much about that.  I’ll bring a few snacks, but I like to get ice cream in the morning, even if it costs $5 for an ice cream sandwich.  Trent enjoys a funnel cake from Liberty Square in the afternoon. For the love of God, pack a cooler for the car. 

Regarding drinks- Bring a water bottle into the park.  Refill it at water fountains.  Buy cokes and ice cream, but don’t spend money on something that’s free.  We share, so if we’re walking around Trent and I might get a coke to share and one for the kids to share, buying two instead of 4 or 5.  Then if we want to get another drink a few hours later, we do the same thing.  The vacation memory that sings for me isn’t getting cokes in the park, it’s being all hot and sweaty after a full day at the Magic Kingdom, standing in a hot parking lot and my dad opening the cooler in the back of the van and passing out ice cold cans of pineapple soda.

Be Lame During the Year.  I only buy those apple sauces in the squeeze packets if we are taking a road trip that is five hours or longer.  Because of this, the boys consider those the biggest treats and accept that they’re for vacation only.  Sharing a 20 oz Sprite is another rarity that makes vacation special.

Consider taking a day off.  We typically factor in one day, usually in the middle of the trip, to swim at the hotel pool, go out for Flipper’s Pizza, walk around the Disney Marketplace, and let everyone take a nap.  However, Disney ticket prices get cheaper per day with every additional day that you add so it might not make sense.  Use Excel.

Spend your money on what is going to make the trip special for you.  Last time we went, I wanted to buy the boys each a stuffed animal.  I do not want to buy a glow toy that costs $20 just because it’s twilight and Disney has pulled out the glow toy carts.  Before the trip, I buy glow sticks at the dollar store and bring them with us, then give them out when the glow toys start appearing in the park.  Today I found some of those gigantic swirly lollipops for $1 each.  When they kids ask for these on the trip, as they inevitably will, I can miraculously pull these out of my purse.  Buying three now instead of at Disney probably saved us $12, at least.  I try to recognize the distinction between things I can buy anywhere and things I can buy only at Disney World.  Mickey Mouse t-shirts can be purchased at Target before the trip and and worn into the park.  If I buy an overpriced t-shirt at Disney, it would be something I can’t get anywhere else, like a t-shirt with the monorail on it.

Above all, remember that spending more money does not mean better memories.  It’s going to be the little, unpredictable moments that stick with you and remind you of people you love and people who love you.