Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish

There might be nothing more optimistic than setting an alarm before you go to bed.  It's saying, "Yes, World, yes, New Day, I planning to get up early and greet you and your joys and challenges as my best self!"  It's especially optimistic for a night person, because as you're setting the alarm you've already stayed up too late.  And you're going to read before you turn out the light.  And maybe remember other things you have to do and get out of bed a few more times.

Then there's the cruel cycle of insomnia.  I'm up for hours in the middle of the night, so I can enjoy all my fears and worries magnified.  Last night I was literally going through Fraulein Maria's favorite things.  Whiskers on kittens, yes...girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, how lovely...crisp apple strudel, mmmm, sure...the world's problems...crush it in my mind vice!  Just keep praying for sleep.  Then the next day of course I'm tired, so I drink more coffee, which means my sleep is bad again the next night.  Before you know it the cycle also includes standing in the express line at the grocery store with one item, a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

  

But hey, right now is mid-morning and the upward part of the cycle.   I've had my first coffees with a Pepto chaser.  The sun is out.  I'm dressed, and it's much easier to deal with problems in clothes and make-up than in pajamas and immense darkness.  I'm remembering my own favorite things, like Trent, Rush, Tate, Holly, whiskers on cats, the white dress with a blue satin sash I can make Holly for Easter, and the apple strudel that could theoretically be made with a box of puff pastry.  

I slept through my alarm to the last possible second, like I have every day of my life since I was a teenager, but I really think tomorrow might be the day I get up early.