Retreat to Move Forward

Since Holly's first birthday, every week or so I say, "It's time to reenter society."  Really it took us until Holly was about a year and a half for me to reenter society.  And now I'm realizing I've spoken too soon.

I'm trying to keep up with people who don't have one-year-olds.  Reality:  I can't fly with the empty nesters.  And I can't keep up with people who have older kids, older like 5.  I don't have a lot of friends with really young kids, so I was just trying to keep up with my friends.  It's time to admit that's not happening.  Does everyone enjoy the challenge of unloading a dishwasher while someone grabs a coffee cup out and hurls it across the kitchen onto the tile?  In trying to reenter society, I forgot that one-year-olds turn into TWO-YEAR-OLDS.  She goes to bed at 7.  We stretch that in order to maintain balance in our lives, but the truth is that I am in charge of caring for and nurturing a child who goes to bed at 7.

Officially I'm going to stop pretending I can help with things and be a normal person.  I'm saying too often, "I would love to help if you have any opportunities where I can bring my kids."  Or maybe:  I am a normal person.  Society should have room for all kinds of people.  Just because I can't help volunteer at a homeless shelter right now, it doesn't mean that I'm not doing my best to love my neighbor.  

This is a desperate public plea to all my friends to stay friends with me- even if I never invite you over and I have to say no to a million things.  Or you can come over if you like soup.  Because if we're ever going to invite friends over regularly again, we're going to have to go back to entertaining with soup and bread.